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The Sonlight Writers Guide

Sonlight Voice and Style

Formality

Semi-casual tone

We often use slightly more formal language in transactional emails or strictly business related matters, but most of Sonlight’s marketing communication is semi-casual, warm and friendly.

Rhythm and Timing

Sentence and Word Length

Short sentence length for the most part (3-5 sentences max). Vary word and sentence length throughout a piece. Read out loud to listen for pleasant and natural rhythm and balance of words.

Today's reader expects and demands short sentences. An average of 14 words, to be exact. (That recommendation comes from the American Press Institute.) Remember, "average" does not mean every sentence should be exactly 14 words. It means that some should be longer -- perhaps much longer -- and some should be shorter, perhaps as short as one word. Really!

Which person do I write in and to?

Write in first person

Example (I want to let you know about Sonlight’s new…”)

Write to a second person singular

Example (I want to let you know about Sonlight’s new…”)

Passive voice

Avoid passive voice whenever possible.

Tell who is doing the action

An easy tip-off that you’ve written a passive sentence: You don’t tell the reader WHO IS DOING THE ACTION. For example: “any figural representations being produced” [by whom?]. “The commandment was set forth” [by whom?].

Don’t use a verb as a noun

Example: “[secular Islamic art has gone through] cycles of DIVERGENCE or OBSERVANCE of the commandment.” (How about something more along the lines: “secular Islamic artists have gone through cycles in which they have more or less observed or diverged from the commandment”?)

A note from John : “I am not saying you must absolutely NEVER use the passive voice, but I wouldn’t expect to see more than one passive sentence or clause in, say maybe eight sentences or clauses. Maximum. Most of us NEED active subjects to even follow what a person is trying to communicate.”

Gender and Number Issues/Pronouns

Children/Child

In general, we try to avoid saying “your child” when we can say “your children.” This helps avoid lots of “he or she” problems, and takes into consideration that the majority of our families use elements of our programs with several children.

He or She

When you do feel compelled to use he or she, do just that, or perhaps an occasional “s/he.” Avoid using only he or she as much as possible, but if you use only one, it’s generally acceptable to use “he.”

Parents versus Moms

95 percent of our customers are homeschool moms, and it’s ok to address moms, but we prefer to use “parent” to be even more inclusive of those dads out there who are investing in their children’s education.


Tone

Sonlight’s writing is characterized by a warm, friendly, and personal tone. We highlight benefits and lead people to make sales, without being pushy. We’re neither a carnival barker luring people to buy our wares, or a sappy romantic comedy. We do our best to be personal, but also to get to the point. We’re story tellers, but we’re always driven by a purpose.

We use language that appeals to the values of the majority of our customers. We may occasionally use humor and irony, but we aren’t characterized by dead-pan copy, and never by sarcasm or bitterness. We appeal to the beliefs and aspirations of our customers, to their hope for strong families and children who love to learn.

Highlight benefits

Don’t just list features

Go beyond mentioning features. Tell your audience what the benefits of those features are. For instance, a lumbar support in a car seat eliminates back pain and allows you to drive long distances in comfort. The feature is the lumbar support; the benefit is the absence of back pain and greater comfort.

Dimensionalize

After you’ve identified a benefit, dimensionalize it: make it bigger. How do you do this? Use illustrations to show your potential customer that s/he "really will" benefit from the benefit you’ve named—that s/he would be foolish to live without the benefit. For instance, if I’m selling a lumbar support in a car seat, I might go on to say that long term back stress affects 75% of all Americans, and that it can cause problems that require expensive medical treatment. By using this illustration, I capture every reader’s attention. My potential customer will wonder whether s/he is included in the 75%, and will probably decide that the lumbar support is cheap insurance when s/he compares it with the alternative—expensive medical treatment.

Avoid content-less hype

Never use “hype” in your writing. John does not approve of writing that is puffed up without any content. What not to write: “The MS01 Ultra is the best ever microscope in the whole wide world, bar none!!!!! These things are selling like hot cakes!!!! Buy one now before we run completely out of our limited stock!!!!” OK—that’s extreme. But be careful because hype, while we think of it as a blatant thing, is often subtle.


Sonlight Terminology

Sonlight Terminology


HTML

  • HTML Basics
    This article covers the essential HTML tags you may need to format an electronic outreach properly.

Grammar and Punctuation Specifics

Commas

Comma after a state

Example: Amy E of Woodstown, NJ, draws a favorite tree as part of her Core 1 studies.

Quotation Marks

""No closing quotation marks at the end of the first paragraph , if the 2nd paragraph continues the quote unbroken. Begin the new paragraph with opening quotation marks.""

Example:

Six-year-old Amy E of Woodstown, NJ, thinks it’s “awesome” to cut out her science activity sheets outside at the picnic table.

“We own every Core, including many upgraded Instructor’s Guides!” says her mom, Anita. Four of the E children have graduated Sonlight and have gone on to excel in college with highest honors.

“My eight children love books—especially Sonlight books—and that keeps me investing in Sonlight over the years. My kids receive a well-rounded education with Sonlight, have an outstanding worldview, and are more focused and in touch with what is going on in the world at large. When my friends ask what my secret is, I say Sonlight.”

Use a comma before a closing quotation mark followed by an attribution.

Example: “Sonlight’s American History courses truly awakened our girls' sense of adventure, discovery, and patriotism and has deepened our family’s love of learning,” writes Suey N of Woodbridge, VA.

“As a result, we often use our weekend time to explore areas of interest in hands-on settings.” Here are Suey’s daughters, Melody (13), Molly (10), and Emily (9) on a trip to Philadelphia. The N girls have used Sonlight for two years.

Never use quotation marks around a book title

Italicize CDs, movies, and book titles, or underline. Only use quotes around articles within a publication, songs within a CD, or chapters within a book.

Avoid unnecessary words

Eliminate the word “that” where possible, and slim down to words you truly need.


Catalog Quotes and Captions

Example quote: “Homeschooling works! Two of our former Sonlighters are successfully in college and thriving. Our big kids loved the years we used Sonlight—especially all the Read-Alouds. I believe Sonlight was a major contribution to their current success. Learning about places all over the world encouraged their love of travel. After 14 years of homeschooling, now I’m starting again with our youngest (P 4/5), and I look forward to doing Sonlight all over again.

                                                                                                                            —Anne T, November 2007

Example photo caption: “Sonlight has made lifelong learners out of my three children, preparing them to enjoy the riches of our nation’s history,” writes Jason W of Onalaska, WA. Here is Jason’s daughter, Lisa (Core 7), aboard the Susan Constant at Jamestown Settlement. Sonlight’s selection of books is so good, I can’t resist the urge to ‘preview’ them myself,” confesses Jason. Lisa has been homeschooled for eight years with Sonlight Curriculum.

“Choosing” Guidelines

So what?

Ask : So what? Who cares? What’s in it for me? (Why would our audience want to read this/know this?)

Choose a focus or a theme when possible

Find or make quotes and zingers have focus. If a quote or zinger has too many "subjects," break it into two, or drop the least important part.

Build Credibility

Look for a number of families with significant time and experience with Sonlight.

Focus on Sonlight Cores or Core benefits the majority of the time

Look for some product specific quotes, but primarily focus on Sonlight itself, especially Core programs, or benefits of the Core.

Elements of a quote

No headlines for quotes

Just start right in with the quote, without a pull quote floating above the quote itself. We don’t want to make up words for a headline, or repeat what the customer is going to say.

Good Example:

“I opened my new Sonlight box today, and I cried. Just look at all those books with lessons already prepared. Even the details of how to put my Instructor’s Guide together--- I’ve been struggling for months feeling disorganized and guilty—and just look what’s in my box! Sonlight answered my prayers. Not only am I a better teacher, but my son has opportunities for learning he’s ever had before.” —Michelle H, February 2007

Wrong for catalog quotes (not necessarily wrong for other writing):

“My son has opportunities for learning he’s never had before.” “I opened my new Sonlight box today, and I cried. Just look at all those books with lessons already prepared. Even the details of how to put my Instructor’s Guide together---I’ve been struggling for months feeling disorganized and guilty—and just look what’s in my box! Sonlight answered my prayers. Not only am I a better teacher, but my son has opportunities for learning he’s never had before.” —Michelle H, February 2007

Benefit focused, gold nugget copy in the middle.

Highlight only the parts of the customer's story that demonstrate a benefit, grab the reader emotionally, communicate concisely, follow a theme, and transfer to the reader's experience.

Change any web abbreviations to full form

Change any web abbreviations like DH or SL to their full form (my husband, or Sonlight, for example.)

End quote with proper attribution

Quotes attribution line should include an m-dash, first name and last initial followed by a comma, then month and year.

Example:

—Cady W, June, 2008


Catalog Photo Captions

Elements of a caption

Attribution

Attribution happens early in the caption, and is always accompanied by the first name of the person speaking (or referred to if no quote), the first letter of their last name, their city, and their two-letter abbreviated state.

List the names of all the people in the photo, usually at first reference, or when you describe what is happening in the photo after the “benefit” copy.

Include the ages of pictured children or list the particular Cores/s being used

Be sure to include whether the ages of the children pictured, or the Core the family (or child) is currently using.

Never being a sentence with a numeral. Instead spell out the number when it falls at the beginning of the sentence (“Nine-year-old Evan W of Castle Rock, CO, loves to read his Core 5 books in his special tree—for hours!).

Length of time homeschooling/with Sonlight.

Include a statement something like this at the end of the caption: The M family has been homeschooling with Sonlight for two years.

Or

The M family has been homeschooling for six years, two years with Sonlight.

No headlines for photos.

Start into the caption in full paragraphs.

Benefit focused, gold nugget copy.

Highlight only the parts of the customer's story that demonstrate a benefit, grab the reader emotionally, communicate concisely, follow a theme, and transfer to the reader's experience.

Try to start with benefit if possible, and tell what is happening in the photo closer to the end. Let the quote stand alone.

Focus on benefit first whenever relevant or possible, then tell what’s happening in photo toward end (you will see some examples of both ways, but we’d like to push benefit first when we can).

  • Personal note from John: Please keep the “zinger”/“testimonial” portion of each caption highly focused on the real benefit. Don't let the quote go on and on about what the photo itself is about (unless the photo itself is primarily focused on the content of the zinger)...So...With this photo caption, please end the quote after the first paragraph. Then rewrite the second paragraph in Sonlight’s voice. Maybe quote mom/Mindy about saving up for the microscope...if you feel that makes a nice sales appeal for the microscope...

Example he’s referring to:

“Thank you for encouraging a love of learning in my children through great literature!” writes Mindy H of Spanish Fork, Utah. “Not only do we enjoy reading together, but we also have great discussions and learn as a result of the books. Janae (7) is especially fond of her grade 2 readers and often wants to read ahead of schedule. When it’s time for reading, she even invites her younger siblings to listen in.”

After reading Greg’s Microscope, Janae was so interested in Greg’s science experiments from the book, she decided to conduct her own. Magnifying glass in hand, she viewed salt and sugar crystals up close, just like Greg. But not close enough, claims her mom. “We’ll have to save up for the microscope (item# 250-40) in Sonlight’s catalog!” The H family has been using Sonlight for two years.

Use featured product captions, but only from time to time, and always include an item number.

  • Personal note from John: I don't mind featuring a specific product in a photo (although you should probably provide a reference to the product’s order number and where in the catalog readers might find it!). But please always emphasize the value of Sonlight—the company and/or the curriculum. Specific products, in general, ought not to be the “stars.”

Date/Time

Time:

• For evergreen articles, website pages, ARP or transactional emails, use Mountain time (caps only on the region, not “time.”)

Example 1

Phone: (303) 483-0140 (Monday-Friday, 9:30am-4:30pm Mountain time)

• Use MST (or MDT during Daylight Savings Time) when applicable for emails and other time sensitive pieces (all caps, next to the actual time)

Example 2

  Phone:  (303) 483-0140 (Monday-Friday, 9:30am-4:30pm MST)

Date:

Wednesday, April 22, 2009 March 2010

Exceptions for space: This sale ends 4/22

NB: March 1, not March 1st


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My Account: Feel free to say "your account"


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Page last modified on April 19, 2013, at 12:49 PM